Observation
As a wedding photographer I observe the entirety of a wedding day almost each week. I specifically see the roles of a bridesmaids over and over. I spend most of my day with the bride, so I come in contact with many bridesmaids each week, month, and year. I have noticed a few things over the years. Bridesmaids have no idea what to do. And I mean that in the kindest and educational way. It's not their fault, they don't know. This is my 10th year as a wedding photographer and I have seen this role shift from the ultimate helpers, the best friends, and the support system, into the girls who get dressed with you, sometimes spend more time getting hair and makeup done than you, the ones holding up photos, the ones walking away from you, and the ones complaining about their dresses. I rarely see bridesmaids help a bride with her dress, I see one muddy dress after the other because the bride gives up on it. I have had countless wedding timelines get way behind because the bridesmaids weren't done getting ready for hours. I see brides trip, fall, and drop flowers because nobody is there to catch her or support her while she is walking.
I have bustled and zipped up dresses, carried the dress, got food for the bride and groom, fixed hair, made tough decisions, helped undress the bride, set up receptions, helped clean up, and held bouquets all while taking the photos. this has happened over and over again. I freaking love my brides and I would lay over a mud puddle for them. I truly enjoy getting to be a huge part of their day. And I actually love being their person. And I would do all of that for any bride. But I shouldn't have to, because that's the role of a bridesmaid. I want to help out, but isn't it more fun and meaningful when your best friends are doing those things because they care about you. Wouldn't it be more fun to talk to your best friend as we walk around and take photos, wouldn't it be more enjoyable if you could hold your new husbands hand without thinking your arm might fall off if you have to keep carrying those flowers.
The Role
"Why is she only talking about girls?" Because guys legit do this for each other, they are always the biggest hype men, they are always fun, wild, talking up the groom, and helping him with everything. Truly! I hear more pep talks and loud music coming from the grooms room than any other. So that's why I am going to say, pick your bridesmaids wisely. Don't just pick the same number as your groom. Just because he has 12 bros from college doesn't mean you need to find 12 girls you know. PICK YOUR BEST FRIENDS. (not excluding brides-men.. they are fantastic) Keep it simple. Pick people who you know will put you first, will make sure you are fed, dressed, on time, and carry you through the mud. The picture above has 3 great bridesmaids, her sister legit was like a social media manager, she was epic. She made sure everyone was fed, looking good, and that the bride's insta was on point. She zoomed in the brides friends who could not be there, and videoed everything. I had a bridesmaid a few months ago make all the tough decisions, she made sure the bride didn't know about 3-4 things that were going wrong. To this day she doesn't know. And I have to mention Aften. Aften was a saint, the best friend of the bride I have ever seen. She did literally everything. She made everything, she coordinated everything, and was there for the bride during everything. She would have laid in a mud puddle for the bride in a heart beat. I truly believe it! She was amazing and what every bridesmaid should be. I don't think the bridesmaids I've seen do these things are meaning too, I think we have just forgotten why we have them, and what their role is.
I don't think the bridesmaids I've seen doing these things are meaning too, I think we have just forgotten what their role is. Because nobody tells them. Bridesmaids, you are there for HER! Hype her up, make her day special, don't worry about your tan lines, your boobs, making the hair dresser redo your hair because you don't like it. It's not about you. CARRY HER DANG DRESS EVERYWHERE. You are there to make sure her day is without a single bump.. don't create the bumps. A huge part of a successful marriage is a successful support group and that starts on the wedding day. Help the bride and groom focus on each other, show them how you will be there for their entire relationship. Show them that you are their right hand woman/man.
